We find ourselves at the Thomas Morea Sanitarium for the Insane.
Thomas Morea, the benefactor that built this institution, is here to visit Chris Whalen, CPA, his friend he built it for.
Before entering Chris's room, Tommy confers with the head psychiatrist.
Tommy says: “Is there any improvement?”
The Dr. says: “We have him on some experimental psychiatric medications but there's been no change, it's very sad and I am sorry.
He babbles on all day about some reality show he stars in with a former mobster.
He said he wanted to write some stories so we gave him a computer but all he does is type in A's and B's and nothing else. Page after page of A’s and B’s, in upper and lower case.
He tries to read them to the other patients during lunch time and they all avoid him as they think he's crazy.
It's funny, the most severe psychiatric patients in the country are in this institution and they all have voted that he's the craziest of them all!
I'm sorry we can't do more for him. He was your CPA, right?”
Tommy says: “Yes, he was the best CPA in New Jersey and we had become very good friends.
When I met him I used to kid with him that he was fucked up.
I didn't realize that he was mentally ill. It gradually progressed as you are well aware.
I feel so guilty over how many times I joked that he was the most fucked up person I had ever met.
Well, thank you Dr. for doing all you can. I'm going to spend at least an hour with him today.”
The doctor unlocks the door to Chris's room and Tommy enters.
Chris immediately yells: “No, you're more fucked up than me!”
Tommy plays along and says: “No, you're more fucked up than me!”
This goes on for about 5 minutes until Chris is laughing hysterically to the point where he doubles over.
They hug, and Chris kisses Tommy on his right cheek.
Chris says: “Tommy, I wrote a bunch of new stories I know you're going to love, here they are.”
Tommy says: “Well there's a lot here. Can I take them home with me?”
Chris says: “Of course, they’re for you! Put them in the binder I gave you.
I have a lot of new ideas for a TV show. This is going to be even more popular than the one we're doing right now!”
Tommy takes a look at the stories and sees there's only A's and B's in upper and lower case on every page.
Tommy says: “These look really interesting Chris. You're really getting good at this writing thing. I would keep it up.”
They have pretend small talk that's all driven by Chris's insane imagination.
After an hour, their weekly visitation is over. They hug, and Chris kisses Tommy on his right cheek.
Tommy says: “Keep up the good work I would never be successful without you!”
Chris answers: “You know it! Not going to argue with that! You were very lucky the day you met me!
See you next Saturday! I’ll have a lot more ideas for you to see then.”
Tommy leaves the sanitarium. He whispers to himself, through his tears.
“He is still the craziest fuck I ever met.”
