Definitions:
Olfactory. Relating to the sense of smell. "the olfactory organs"
Anosmia is the inability to perceive smell/odor.
Hyperosmia may make certain smells particularly distasteful. You can feel nauseated or disgusted, and the odors can even trigger migraines or allergies.
Sympathy Pain is a term that refers to feeling physical or psychological symptoms from witnessing someone else’s discomfort.
Rita Martini, wife of Joseph Martini, sat in her car outside the marriage counselor’s office. She was on speakerphone with the counselor and her husband, who were both sitting in the counselor’s office.
She hadn’t been able to be physically near her husband since his operation 8 months ago to cure his congenital anosmia. This was their first marriage counseling session. She was at her wit’s end. Could a counselor really help with this situation? Could a marriage counselor change her husband’s mind?
She thought back to when this all started. It was supposed to be a miracle operation that would give her husband a sense of smell for the first time in his life. Imagine never smelling a rose? A dew filled spring morning? And never tasting any food?
8 months earlier….
45 year old Joseph Martini lie in post-op. He had just endured an 8 hour groundbreaking surgery to cure his anosmia.
His four children and wife, after waiting over ten hours in the operating room waiting area, were finally told they could see him.
He was still unconscious when they got to his bedside, and once there, he began to retch uncontrollably in his sleep. Nurses rushed over to make sure he didn’t choke on his own vomit.
The family were told to leave the ICU and to come back tomorrow when he was settled in a regular hospital room.
Tomorrow came and one by one his children came in to see him. He hugged them tight and breathed them in and closed his eyes. It was magical. He lightly cried tears of joy as he hugged and smelled each of his children for the first time.
Then finally his wife came in and approached the bed. She almost dove on top of him and hugged him tighter than she ever had. She was so happy to be married to him and to go on this new life’s journey with him. She was so proud how much support she had given him over the past few years.
From the moment he took his first breath with his wife on top of him, he began to retch uncontrollably. His body spasmed so hard that he sat up, tossing his wife onto the floor. One of the kids pushed the “nurse assistance needed” button and the nurses rushed in.
It seemed there was nothing they could do to stop his retching. They asked the family to wait in the hallway and once they left, the retching and spasming subsided.
Rita put her phone to her ear to call the surgeon and let him know what had transpired. One by one the kids re-entered their father’s room. His episode subsided and the kids were so relieved.
Once she finished her call, Rita came back into the room and as she approached the bed, her husband’s retching and spasming erupted again.
The same nurse brigade rushed in and ushered everyone out of the room again. He immediately stopped convulsing.
In the hallway, the attending physician asked the family exactly what happened.
They told him that the four kids came back in the room once dad’s episode subsided, but once mom approached the bed, another episode erupted.
The doctor asked the four kids to accompany him into the room. They spent a few minutes at their dad’s bedside with the doctor, and then they came back in the hallway.
He said “Mrs. Martini, would you now come with me? If you see your husband having any negative reactions, please leave the room immediately.”
She complied and as she approached the bed his convulsions and writhing erupted again.
She fled the room and the symptoms disappeared.
And so began their latest marital journey, where suddenly, due to her husband regaining his sense of smell, he would retch in violent spasms when she was in close proximity.
Her husband was suffering from Hyperosmia.
They investigated everything looking for the culprit: shampoos, detergent, perfumes, deodorant, lotions, supplements she may be taking, etc. But the elimination of all of these things did not change the reaction.
What was interesting is that he always could breathe without a problem and so his ability to now smell whatever his wife was shedding was the problem.
They went to specialist after specialist, and not one could figure out what was happening.
For 8 months they alternated sleeping in the basement and spending time with the children after work hours.
What scared her the most was that her kids were starting to feel sympathy pain, and sometimes had to leave a room she was in because they would feel nauseous.
She knew this was psychosomatic, but that didn’t quell her fears that her children, as well as her husband, would eventually be lost.
They were starting to place blame on her for this and kept begging her to fix it.
Two weeks ago, Rita called Joseph from the basement and suggested that he have the surgery reversed to save their family. She expected an immediate “Yes!” from him. But he gave her the opposite answer.
That led them to this first marriage counseling session.
We pick up where this story began, with Mrs. Martini forced to sit in her car during a marriage counseling session while her husband and therapist sat comfortably inside.
Therapist: “Hi Mrs. Martini, your husband and I are here.”
Joseph: “Hi Rita.”
Rita: “Hi Joseph. Dr, we have done all we can to try to figure out why this is happening. It seems that being able to smell whatever my body naturally emits makes my husband uncontrollably retch.
We have tried to plug his nose when I am around, which did not work. And even if it did I couldn’t ask him to live so uncomfortably when he is around me, especially during sleep.”
Therapist: “What would you like my help with?”
Joseph: “She wants me to reverse the surgery.”
There was a long pause.
Therapist: “Mrs. Martini, is that true?”
There was another long pause.
Rita: “Yes, yes it is. I don’t want to sleep in the basement any longer. I want to have my husband back, and I want my family back to normal. I want my children’s sympathy pain to go away. I want everyone to stop treating me like I am a leper.
Again, I have done all I can to figure why this is happening. I have been poked, prodded, steamed, injected, skin peeled and hooked up to ventilators.
The doctors and other scientists agree that this has nothing to do with any man-made substance I might put on or in my body, and is simply my base odor, that is making him sick.
He says he can’t actually smell anything bad when he is close to me. When I am in the same space as him, he is triggered.
It is not him breathing whatever it is. We have been almost inseparable for 25 years so we have shared the same space and air for decades.”
Therapist: “Mr. Martini, your thoughts?”
Joseph: “Having my sense of smell back has changed my life. It is very similar to someone getting their hearing restored. I couldn’t imagine losing it again voluntarily.”
Rita: “But Joseph, this may be the only way to save our marriage and family.”
Joseph: “Rita, How could you ask this of me? I will never go back to Anosmia. I am finally living a full life.”
There was a long pause.
Rita: “Yes, but without me.”
Joseph: “I know. It is sad and I miss you. This is not about you at all. I want you to be happy for me. If the scientists ever figure out why this is happening, I will spare no expense to fix you. But to ask me to eliminate one of my five senses voluntarily, when I didn’t have it for 45 years, is unconscionable.”
Rita: “What?! To fix me?! There is nothing wrong with me!”
Joseph: “That came out the wrong way.”
Rita: “I want a divorce.”
Joseph: “I will not fight you on that and I completely understand.”
Rita and Joseph eventually divorced and agreed to 50/50 physical time with the children.
Eventually the children lived full time with Joseph as the nausea just wouldn’t go away.
