Author's Note: Faces of minors have been obscured for their privacy.
We find ourselves at the NJ Pennsylvania border.
A car with NJ plates attempting to enter New Hope Pennsylvania is pulled over. There are four occupants. A father, mother and two identically dressed dapper children.
Two PA state troopers approach the passenger side. It is the mom they want to talk to.
She rolls the window down.
She says: “What seems to be the problem officer?”
Trooper one, holds his phone up, and the following pictures appear.
He looks into the backseat at the two identically dressed young boys sitting there.
He says to Trooper Two: “Yes, this is the family.”
Trooper One addresses the parents.
“Sir and Madam, you are not allowed to enter the New Hope PA city limits.
It seems that your visit last year caused quite a problem.
After your visit last year during Christmas time, all the members of the mothers’ group, “Moms of New Hope PA” had a melt down.
Your impeccably dressed sons made the other children look like homeless people or hobos. The local and other visiting children were an embarrassment. The local moms had a collective breakdown at what terrible mothers they were compared to that “biatch” from NJ.
Their words, not mine.
The therapy bills alone ran into the tens of thousands of dollars.
Didn’t you notice last year, the town was devoid of other children by the afternoon? Our train station is our most popular attraction. Look at this picture, no one but your children.”
Trooper One handed the mom in the car a copy of the proclamation from the New Hope Township committee.
He said: “You need to turn around and head back over the bridge into NJ. Have a good day. There will be riots if you parade your perfect family in New Hope again. This is mainly for your children’s safety.”
The father obeyed the order and headed back over Bridge St. towards the NJ side of the river.
He said, as delicately as possible: “Honey, we had to come to PA because all the NJ towns we visited for Christmas also outlawed us for the same reason. Pretty soon we will have to drive to Ohio. Just some food for thought.”
