We find ourselves outside the oldest Roman Catholic Church in Brooklyn, NY, The Cathedral Basilica of St. James.
There is a lot of activity as a ranking member of the NY crime family is getting married.
This is the goto church for all mafia related weddings, baptisms and confirmations.
The tales of past weddings held here were now myths and legends.
Who could forget that in 1927, Mrs. Carmine Doozeepatz to-be was so drunk that she kissed her maid of honor when Carmine was told “you may now kiss the bride.” The marriage was instantly annulled.
Or, in 1966, the “Marry her before she starts showing” wedding of 50 year old Tommaso Buscetta, and his pregnant sixteen year old bride Sophia Mori, daughter of the Brooklyn NYPD police chief.
Many of the women in attendance were sure they could see a baby bump.
What a scandal!
Or, in 1981, the baptism of Luciano Leggio’s son, allegedly, where a groundsman who worked on his estate barged into the church and yelled.
“That baby is mine, stop this baptism now!” He left the church with 9 bullet holes and only ½ pint of blood left in his veins.
Today, we are celebrating the marriage of Salvatore (“the Beast”) Riina, and Antonina L’Andolina. Mr. Riina is the captain of the Martinciglio crime family, and the heir apparent to succeed the current Capo Dei Capi.
The Beast has many enemies, both inside and outside the family.
The groom and groomsmen pull up in multiple limos, and they quickly walk inside.
There is heavy security of course.
The bride and bridesmaid pull up and also quickly walk inside.
Standing outside for any length of time is not a prescription for living a long life for anyone mafia related.
The security enter the church.
The outer church doors are shut and then the inner doors.
The church organ can be heard.
12 assassins, actually from a Russian mafia family, have been planning this hit for many months.
They are lying in wait in a store front next door.
They are listening to the feed from a microphone they planted in the church. As soon as they hear “Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here to join Salvatore and Antonina in holy matrimony”, that is their queue, as they know the bride and groom are perfect targets standing together on the altar.
They are armed thusly and will enter the church in this order, then spread out along the back wall.
2 assassins - to open the outer doors.
2 assassins - to open the inner doors.
2 assassins - Grenade launchers, 8 grenades each, to be aimed at the altar.
2 assassins - Cluster Grenades, 20 each, to be thrown into the pews.
1 assassin - long range flamethrower
3 assassins - 50 caliber automatic machine guns with 200 round clips.
They have machine guns hanging from a shoulder strap to be used once their main ammunition is expended.
They have thoroughly planned for every eventuality, almost.
They hear their queue through their speakers. “Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here to join Salvatore and Antonina in holy matrimony.”
They race from the storefront next door, and up the limestone church steps. They are met with no resistance as all security went into the church.
This bothers a few of the assassins, but their adrenaline is so high, they ignore this important intuition.
Outer church doors open!
Inner church doors open!
The assassins fire their weapons as they enter and fan out along the back wall, left and right.
The carnage is like that of a war zone.
The altar is obliterated and the bride and groom seem to have been vaporized.
The cluster grenades are shredding the guests as are the 50 caliber bullets.
Flames are everywhere and the church quickly starts to fill with smoke.
Above the assassins, 20 of Salvatore (“the Beast”) Riina’s crew lie in wait in the choir section.
They open fire from above and slaughter the Russian assassins. They exit out of the front of the church and get into awaiting cars and flee the scene.
The police and fire personnel arrive a few minutes later. They try to enter the church, but the flames and heat are too much.
The first policeman on scene, who only could see vague human forms inside the church from the outer door, gives the following status on his radio.
“There was a wedding being held. We probably have over 100 dead. It looks like a war zone. Unbelievable. We can’t enter yet due to the flames and heat.”
We find ourselves at a heavily fortified private residence in Flatbush, Brooklyn. There is an old church, long since closed, on the grounds.
The 20 members of Riina’s crew are met at the gate by Mr. Riina himself.
He says: “What took you so long! You’re holding up my wedding!”
His main captain says: "Russians."
Mr. Riina walks to the altar, his ten groomsmen greet him with handshakes and well wishes.
He says: "Russians." They all have a good laugh.
The traditional wedding march starts to play, CLICK HERE TO LISTEN.
And his beautiful bride Antonina, veiled and arm in arm with her father, walks towards him and joins him at the altar.
Father Imperatore says: “Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here to join Salvatore and Antonina in holy matrimony.”
The ceremony is perfect, leaving no dry eyes in the house.
He finishes with: “Therefore they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
You may kiss your bride.”
The traditional bride and groom exit song plays CLICK HERE TO LISTEN.
Back at The Cathedral Basilica of St. James, the fire is finally doused enough to allow the paramedics to enter and help the wounded.
The head paramedic screams: “Triage, triage, triage. Only work on those you feel can be saved. There are over 100 victims in here!”
They race to the altar and to the pews and see no blood.
They are all momentarily confused.
Upon closer inspection, except for 12 human Russian corpses against the back wall, all other “casualties” are mannequins.
Of course, Mr. and Mrs. Salvatore Riina fund a non-profit to rebuild the church.
They need it to be ready when their children are baptized.
