The year is 1524. All the young unmarried women have lined the main path into the village.
They are dressed in their Sunday best.
You see, Prince Timothy, aged 16, was making his annual visit to all of the villages he has dominion over.
Why is this important? He still has yet to pick a wife.
His father, the king, has sent him far and wide with the charge of finding a suitable bride from their empire.
The king’s words upon his son’s parting: “Your whoring days are over my son! You are to return with a wife! No longer will you use my kingdom as your personal brothel!”
Timothy, sitting on a horse, facing his father at the castle gate, bowed his head in respect with a solemn face and said:
“Yes my lord and my king, your decree shall be heeded.”
Timothy turned his steed and as soon as he crested the first hill he started laughing hysterically as did his entire riding party.
Every village he entered he sampled as many young women as he could. Each of them thought they would be the next Queen.
Two months later he returned alone to the scorn of his father.
He was given a pile of correspondence he had received.
One was a note from Brittina of Indianapolisshire.
She wrote: “My prince, our time together was magical. I know we are meant to be together. I will await a carriage from you so that I may join you in Rumsonshire so we can be wed. I will remain chaste, no matter how long it takes you to realize I am to be your wife.”
The prince sent her a note: “I don’t remember you. Find yourself a husband from your village.”
Each month another note arrived from Brittina.
Three years passed.
Brittina’s parents grew worried and although they had brought her many suitors over the years, she rejected all of them.
She always said: “My husband lives in the king’s castle and someday he will come and collect me.”
Many of the young women the prince had spent “time” with, thought the same thing. It was mass hysteria.
Eventually all of the other young women picked one of the suitors their parents recommended and started a family.
Brittina was the only holdout.
The king hired the most world renowned military strategist to teach his son the Art of War.
After spending a few months with the prince, the teacher said that he must quit.
When asked why, he told the prince that his gallivanting ways were too much of a distraction. And that he was impossible to teach correctly.
He told the prince he was a living like an immature spoiled child and that he could find hundreds of other much more serious and mature pupils.
He said: “I don’t care how much your father pays me, you are not worth teaching like this. I am wasting my time. You are still a child.”
The prince wasn’t used to anyone telling him what to do and usually he would throw anyone who spoke like this in the dungeon. But instead, showing rare respect for an elder,
He asked: “What should I do?”
Teacher: “Find a wife you insolent little arse! You have sampled thousands of women and expressed your lust like a drunken sailor!
But have you met a young woman who truly loves you and would be a good mother for your children? Have you ever considered these things? You have missed her with your immature eyes.
What if your father was to die today? You would become king and be a laughing stock! You need to be ready to take the throne as a mature man, not an oversexed child. If you rose to the throne today, you would soon be dead at the hand of one of your strong rivals, and deservedly so. The kingdom would be glad.”
Prince Timothy was suddenly breathless as his teacher had changed his perspective completely.
It was like he had just climbed a mountain and reached a summit.
Behind was his youth, ahead of him was his manhood.
In one moment, Prince Timothy had been completely transformed.
The teacher continued: “Think long and hard, now using this new lens I have given you.
Is there any woman you have met who meets the criteria of being a faithful wife and worthy mother for your children?”
Prince Timothy did not have to think hard at all.
He went to his room and re-read all of the letters Brittina had written to him.
He did not tell his teacher or father his plans, as he was his own man now and did not need anyone’s permission any longer to do anything.
He gathered a riding party and headed to Indianapolisshire.
He entered the hut of Brittina’s family.
He approached her father, got down on one knee, and asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage.
Brittina pushed her father out of the way and stood in front of Timothy.
She said: “Of course you may have my hand! I knew you would come. A Maiden knows.”
They were wed the next day.
King Timothy and Queen Brittina became the most loved and respected monarchs to ever rule the land.
