“come on, come on, come on….” He was whispering this while he sat alone in his car. It seemed that every light he had come to was red.
“come on, come on, come on….” Green, thank God.
It was 8pm and it was gray and drizzling.
He was late.
The drizzle had not stopped during the two hours that he had been driving.
Red Light.
“come on, come on, come on….” Whispered again through gritted teeth.
He was twisting his right hand on the steering wheel, back and forth, in a perfect rhythm. It was one of the many forms of meditation he practiced.
Green Light. Drizzle, wipers, drizzle, wipers, drizzle.
He had driven the entire way without the radio on. He would later recall this and smile to himself. He always put the radio on in the car, or the TV on at home, or had music playing when he ran.
That showed how much she consumed his thoughts.
Red Light.
“come on, come on, come on….”
Green Light. Drizzle, wipers, drizzle…..
He was so close. He never had such butterflies in his stomach.
It had only been four days since the last time he held her, but since then he felt as if some major part of him had been amputated.
At this point he needed only a small part of his conscious mind to continue driving.
That allowed his mind to bring her to him.
They were laying together, his right arm under her head; both on their sides, and his nose and mouth were buried in her neck. The smells and taste of her were intoxicating and he could smell her perfectly now as he drove in the rain. He could feel her breasts pressing on his chest as she lay on top of him sleeping and her soft vulnerable lips kissing his, quivering with fear and excitement.
Red Light.
“come on, come on, come on….”
Green Light. Drizzle, wipers, drizzle…..
It felt like a million years since he had touched her and he was at a point where he needed to touch her again to prove to himself that she did exist.
Right turn. Drizzle…….
His heart was pounding and if he had been sitting there without a shirt on, someone looking at him would see his skin rising and falling, and rising and falling right next to his breast bone.
Left turn. Drizzle, pounding, pounding.
The first time he had seen her; any possible defense or rational thought within him was eliminated. His love for her had been an instant absolute truth, and it had been the moment he had been waiting for his entire adult life.
That was three months ago.
All the questions and doubts he had had about so many others and all the emotional isolation and disappointment that he had felt for so many years had been replaced with peace, and a sense of constant euphoria that even he could never have even imagined.
He had tried his best to run from it. He had tried his best to convince himself that it was only his romantic desperate heart fooling him into believing that she was special and that she really did exist.
Oh, she existed, in the flesh. It was that flesh he was racing to.
Driveway, her driveway.
Brakes-ParkLightsOff-IgnitionOff-CarDoorOpen-Standing-Running..
She ran from her front door in bare feet and leapt into his arms and straddled him.
He felt her tears against his cheeks. Their mouths softly greeted each other, their eyes closed.
Their souls rejoiced as they mated again.
Drizzle, Kissing, Drizzle, Holding, Drizzle….
Love…….
And ecstasy in every form.
