Timmy Jenkins, age 20, accepted a job an entire year before graduating from Stanford University with dual PHDs in Geology and Economics.
Competition for him was international and fierce. Finding young men with genius IQs was relatively easy, but Timmy had that one in a million combination of deep and wide technical analytical ability with boundless creative thought.
At 12 he won The George Westinghouse Award.
At 15, he had finished his undergraduate BS in The Huntsman Program in International Studies and Business from Wharton, and at 17 his Masters from Northwestern University in Business Philosophy and had one of his research papers published for the first time.
Of the hundreds of offers he received, he went to work for Samuel Quint, CEO of Land Preservation, Inc., a WhiteRock International subsidiary.
WhiteRock had its hands in every major market worldwide.
Land Preservation, Inc. focussed on exploiting natural resources. Timmy had a childlike fascination with prospecting for resources just like the oil barons of the 1800s did. He simply used modern technology to achieve the same goals.
Timmy took the job only if he could shadow, and work with, Mr. Quint everyday, in the same room.
Samuel Quint was known as a modern day William Myron Keck who had started Superior Oil. Legend has it that Mr. Keck was the world's greatest oil prospector, a man whose instincts about the location of petroleum were so uncanny, some believed him clairvoyant.
Timmy quickly flourished under Mr. Quint’s wing.
His job was straightforward. Scout out and analyze deals in the Natural Resources sector worldwide ahead of the competition.
Then obtain the extraction rights using any means necessary behind closed doors.
Mr. Quint was relying on his boy genius to do the work of twenty people and twenty times as fast. Timmy delivered much more.
Every Friday the executive staff rented a private room at a local restaurant and kicked off their shoes for a private party.
It was during his fourth week of work, and during one such happy hour, that he met a waitress, Tina Põldma. She was an Estonian immigrant, and told him she was first generation. She was a stunning blonde as many Estonian women are.
Four happy hours later, they went on their first date. They became inseparable lovers shortly after.
Timmy started working on three top secret projects at once.
Project 1 - Lithium deposit in Outer Mongolia
Project 2 - Natural Gas deposit in the Baltic Sea
Project 3 - Cobalt deposit in the Sudan
Over the course of several months Tina was living with him. The two seemed perfectly in love. He told her stop waitressing and promised to provide for her and she quickly agreed.
One morning, when Timmy was showering, Tina slipped a USB-C SSD Drive (Solid State Drive) into his laptop. A red light flashed and then in a few moments a green light flashed.
This was her signal to remove it.
Tina did this at least once per day during times Timmy was indisposed.
We find ourselves in the offices of TractEx International, the main competitor to Land Preservation.
Our Tina Põldma is meeting with her real boss, CEO Matt Hooper.
They are seated at a conference table with a few computer technicians.
She hands the USB-C SSD drive to one of them.
He quickly inserts it into his laptop. In a moment he hands it back to her.
Matt Hooper looks at the technician and he receives a smile and a nod, acknowledging the successful transfer of Timmy’s stolen laptop data.
He speaks: “Ellen Brody, weird to hear your real name, huh? You are doing excellent work. Are you sure he doesn’t suspect anything?”
Ellen Brody, aka Tina Põldma: “Yes, it is odd to hear my real name! Timmy believes I am an immigrant waitress. The man is completely in love with me. A woman knows. He has completely dropped his guard. He is paying all of my bills. I am keeping him happy in the kitchen and the bedroom. I have him believing he is the best lover I ever had and that I need him to make love to me multiple times per day.
I am his only confidant. You know that geniuses have a very hard time making best friends, let alone finding romance. I have given him both. I still can’t believe he is so gullible.”
Matt Hooper: “What has he told you recently about the projects he is working on?”
Ellen Brody, aka Tina Põldma, began to ramble.
“The Outer Mongolia Lithium project is moving quickly.”
Gesturing to the technicians. “Pull up the emails with Putin and the charts.”
Both appear on the wall sized screens.
Matt Hooper: “Can we confirm this is a direct email thread with Vladimir Putin?”
Technician #1: “Yes Sir.”
Matt Hooper: “Very impressed Ms. Brody, go on.”
Ellen Brody, aka Tina Põldma: “They are looking to close this with Putin within six months.“
She turns again to the technician. “Pull up the seismic three dimensional charts. Very few people know about this in the entire world, and by reading his emails, Putin wants to keep it that way. I have the exact GPS coordinates and depths for which Land Preservation, Inc. is buying exclusive access for $850 Billion. Ten year profit is estimated to be 550%, after tax.”
Matt Hooper: “$850 Billion, noted.”
Ellen Brody, aka Tina Põldma continued her high stakes game of espionage for several more months until she had 100% of the inside information on all three top secret Land Preservation, Inc. projects Timmy Jenkins was researching and negotiating.
She held weekly meetings with her real boss Mr. Hooper.
She eventually gave complete information on the two other deals just as she did for the Outer Mongolian Lithium deal with Putin.
Project 2 - Natural Gas deposit in the Baltic Sea. The Baltic Sea was controlled by NATO. Two NATO Execs were easily persuaded to take a bribe to allow an independent company to extract Natural Gas. Total cost, $775 Billion. As always, she had the exact GPS coordinates and depths for which Land Preservation, Inc. was buying exclusive access. Ten year profit is estimated to be 375%, after tax.
Project 3 - Cobalt deposit in Sudan. This portion of Sudan was under the control of a warlord. Negotiations were quick. Total cost, $975 Billion. As always, she had the exact GPS coordinates and depths for which Land Preservation, Inc. was buying exclusive access. Ten year profit is estimated to be 725%, after tax.
Total of all the projects that Timmy was negotiating was $2.6 Trillion.
Land Preservation, Inc. was to close all three of them in one day, February 14th, Valentine’s Day.
It was January 1.
She needed to keep monitoring and playing Timmy for a few short weeks. Her boss Matt Hooper was set to steal the deals on February 1.
Matt Hooper and his financial team worked overtime. He laughed himself almost giddy everyday that his main competitor was paying for all of the research he was using to steal these three amazing deals right out from under them.
Once he closed on all three of these, he would become a legend, and he knew it.
Ellen Brody, aka Tina Põldma, went home to Timmy. Upon her arrival she was met with candles, soft music, and a trail of rose petals to follow.
They led to the bedroom where Timmy knelt on one knee.
In his right hand was an open ring box which contained what looked like a perfect five carat Tiffany engagement ring.
Timmy said: “Tina Põldma, would you make me the happiest man who ever existed and become my wife.”
Ellen Brody, aka Tina Põldma, trained to cry on queue, did just that, and knelt down herself and kissed Timmy softly on the mouth and said: “Yes, Yes, Yes!”
They made love right there on the bedroom floor and well into the night until they were both exhausted.
During January, Matt Hooper and his team simply plagiarized the contracts for the three projects. He added 5% to the prices to incentivize the sellers to deal with TractEx instead of Land Preservation. Then he sent them along to Putin, the Nato Execs and the Sudanese warlord.
Needless to say, they were all shocked, but they all quickly agreed to close February 1!
Matt Hooper, Ellen Brody, aka Tina Põldma, and their team celebrated with champagne the night before.
After 5pm on January 31, for the first time since they met, Timmy could not reach his beautiful bride-to-be Tina Põldma.
At midnight on February 1, Matt Hooper transferred the following funds from the TractEx bank accounts:
Vladimir Putin - $892.5 Billion for Lithium Extraction Rights.
NATO Execs - $813.750 Billion for Natural Gas Extraction Rights.
Sudanese Warlord - $1.23750 Trillion for Cobalt Extraction Rights.
It's 9am February 1. We find ourselves in the boardroom of Land Preservation, Inc. Only Timmy Jenkins and Samuel Quint are in attendance.
They have a news station broadcasting on the wall.
A press conference is starting.
Matt Hooper is at the podium, Ellen Brody, aka Tina Põldma stands immediately to his right, looking as proud as a super spy can feel.
Mr. Hooper starts to speak and he details three new deals that will benefit TractEx International and its shareholders for decades to come. He painstakingly congratulates himself and details how much hard work his team put in researching and negotiating them.
He presents a slide show of all of the graphs and spreadsheets stolen from Timmy’s laptop.
He concludes with. “These investments, which total $2.944 Trillion, will start being cash flow positive by the 4th quarter this year. I will now take your questions.”
Timmy Jenkins and Samuel Quint stare at the screen in amazement and disbelief. Then they start to roar with laughter so hard they fall on the floor.
Timmy says: “Boss, can I call her now please?”
Timmy hits speed dial number one on his phone and his beloved, in full life size on the screen in front of them, answers her phone.
Timmy speaks: “Ellen Brody. I am so glad to finally be able to call you by your real name. This is your fiancé by the way. I missed you last night.
We just watched your boss's press conference. Very impressive.
Just one question. Did you really think I would leave my actual work laptop accessible to basically a complete stranger?
A first generation Estonian immigrant?
You didn’t let your boss rely on the completely fabricated information you stole from that laptop I brought home everyday, did you? I hope not!
It was very convincing apparently! You are idiots. I think I am most proud of the fake Putin emails your team believed were real. I am still shocked you fell for those especially.
The three sets of extraction rights your company just bought, for close to $3 trillion, are worthless.
Please watch our press conference tomorrow at 9am so you can see the real deals I have been working on. And the best part of this is that your boss just paid for the actual deals I made with Putin, the NATO Execs and the Sudanese warlord.
Please thank him for the close to $3 Trillion gift he has given Land Preservation!
Oh, and the ring I see on your finger is as worthless as your three deals.
Me, my boss, Putin, the NATO Execs and the Sudanese warlord can’t stop laughing.
You fell for my deception perfectly all the while believing I was falling for yours.
I don’t know how you thought I would be so stupid, gullible and careless.
Didn’t you do any research on me? You will never see the words stupid, gullible or careless in the same sentence as my name. I am known as an intense, detailed and creative thinker in certain circles.
Surprised you missed that in your research.
It took me less than two days to find out who you really are and who you worked for.
To paraphrase an old saying. ‘I kept my enemies closer’. That is why I had you living with me from the start. It was nice having you cook for me and pleasuring me on demand.
All of your felonious corporate espionage was captured on HD video. Apparently you weren’t aware you were being recorded 24/7 in my apartment.”
FBI agents suddenly appear behind her.
Timmy continues: “For the record. I take back my marriage proposal.”
He leaves the line open and all Ellen Brody hears is roaring laughter and two men rolling on the floor.
They watch her on the screen as her face turns ashen. She slowly lowers the phone and taps her boss’s shoulder.
Her boss is so engaged in the press’s questions he ignores her.
As soon as they see her and her boss in handcuffs, they turn off the newsfeed and get ready for their press conference the next day.
Weeks before, they both shorted the stock of TractEx International and made $1 Billion when the news got out that TractEx invested close to $3 Billion in nothing.
Matt Hooper would jump off the balcony of his 80th floor Central Park South condominium. He didn’t even have the decency to clear the sidewalk of pedestrians before he did so.
Ellen Brody, aka Tina Põldma would serve 10 years in a maximum security federal prison.
TractEx International’s assets were liquidated in what could only be described as a fire sale.
Timmy Jenkins eventually was elevated to the pantheon of the great business minds of all times.
He wrote a book about this experience called, All Is Fair In Love And Global Finance.
No one ever made the mistake of thinking he was stupid, gullible or careless again.
