We find ourselves in an apartment shared by three twenty-something women in the big city. It is Thursday night, just after work, and two of them are getting ready for their weekly Happy Hour Pub Crawl.
Tina, the one not getting ready, has been blind since birth.
A few things make her want to avoid going out.
In bars she always finds the music too loud. As with most blind people, her hearing is enhanced in response to her sense of sight being limited.
In dense crowds people push and rub against her when she has no way of knowing it’s coming.
That gives her tremendous anticipatory anxiety.
But the worst part is men never approach her. All of her friends say she is pretty, but she knows how all girls tell each other they are perfect tens.
She has been told she is very cute from “certain angles” (that’s her mom’s favorite joke). She has no idea of knowing how attractive or ugly she is to men.
She works out, eats healthy and maintains a traditional hourglass figure which is rare today.
And even though women think it shouldn’t matter to men, she knows that it does.
So even with her feminine and above average sexy figure, rarely is a romantic overture made towards her.
Her constant self-conscious thought is: "God, I must be hideous."
Her large blacked-out lensed glasses and her obtrusive blind person’s cane are what she calls “men repellent.”
Although she has never seen her own face, she fears her blind eyes would look grotesque to the world if uncovered.
Her mom calls while her roommates giggle like the school girls they once were in the bathroom.
Tina: “Hi Mom. Sorry I forgot to call you back last night.”
Tina’s Mom: “Don’t worry honey. It’s Thursday night. Time for that Happy Hour Pub Crawl!”
Mom: “You know I never go.”
Tina’s Mom: “Listen, I thought of something. Find a booth where you have the inside seat so no random person can bump into you, or sit at the end of the bar where no one is going to have to lean over the bar and order a drink. You will be the cutest girl there, at least from certain angles, and those big black glasses and blind person’s cane are a turn-on in some circles.
Seriously Tina, I have been amazed what you have accomplished being blind from birth. Like I always taught you, some goals cannot be accomplished while sitting at home. Getting what you want many times involves being uncomfortable. Not trying to be a pain, just being your mom still even though you are almost 30 years old.”
Tina: “Ok mom I’ll consider it. Talk to you over the weekend.”
Tina did actually sit there and consider it until she heard her roommates putting their coats on.
Tina: “Guys, wait. I want to come.”
Roommate #1: “No way!! Yay Yay Yay!"
Roommate #2: “We'll help you get ready.”
Off to the bathroom they went, and twenty minutes later Tina’s coat was on and the Happy Hour Pub Crawl had begun!
She asked her friends: "How Do I look?"
They replied: "You're a perfect 10!"
Tina smiled and thought: "Ugh, of course I am."
She took her mom’s advice and sat where she wouldn’t be bumped into. At pub #3, her roommates momentarily left her alone in the booth to get some refreshed drinks. Just a few seconds later she felt the booth move as if someone had sat across from her.
Tina: Thinking her roommates were back she said: “That was quick, it must be dead in here!”
The man sitting across from her said: “I’m Timmy and I wanted to tell you I am glad you’re blind because since..”
Tina did not let him finish his sentence. She instantly felt nervous, claustrophobic and vulnerable.
Where were her roommates?
Why was she so stupid to take her mom’s advice?
She should be home behind a heavily locked door listening to an audio book where there was no one to bump into her and no one telling her they were happy she was blind.
She said: “I think you should leave now.”
Timmy: “I’m sorry. But can I finish my pick up line?”
Tina didn’t say anything for about 30 seconds and then she heard and felt Timmy slowly sliding off the opposite booth seat. Never to be seen heard again.
In a rare moment of social bravery, Tina said:
“Sure, it can’t get any worse than that opening line!”
She felt relieved when she heard and felt him sliding back into the booth.
Timmy: “I’m glad you're blind because since my accident, the plastic surgeons have done all they could to rebuild my face, but they still have a long way to go.”
Grabbing her hands he says “Here feel… “ and places them on his face. “But be careful, it’s very tender.”
She tried to recoil but his grip was too strong, but she also noticed how soft and warm his hands were.
It was very comforting.
Her slowly moving hands took their time building a physical image of his face and it was perfect.
Her roommates, heavily buzzed by now, return to the booth and stare in wild wonder as Tina, the hermit, who hates loud crowded bars, is touching a strange man’s face voluntarily!
Tina: “You haven’t had any accident! Plastic surgeons did all they could? Right! You’re a very cruel man Mr. Timmy.” And her hands disappeared into her lap, out of Timmy’s reach.
Timmy: “True, God, it was a pick up line, not a sworn statement under oath. I am sure no one mentions your blindness so I thought to be bold and treat you like a human being and use it in a cute way. I am really sorry. You now see why I am single! My mom finally convinced me to do the Happy Hour Pub Crawl with my roommates, and I knew it would be a disaster. My apologies, I was out of line. Goodnight.”
Timmy thought to himself: "Why was I so stupid to take my mom’s advice tonight?"
Tina hears him start to slide out of the booth again and both roommates say in unison.
“Tina, don’t forget your dentist appointment tomorrow.”
Tina smiles more broadly than she had in a long time. So much so that her hidden eyes were all squinty.
Timmy looked at the roommates as if they were drunk and crazy.
As Tina is blind she needed to know if a guy hitting on her was worth talking to. Her roommates saying “Tina, don’t forget your dentist appointment tomorrow” was code for he was more than worth it.
Tina groped across the table, found his hands, and said “Please stay.”
And coyly smiling she said: “Please tell me more about your tragic accident and related disfigurement! It must be very hard on you, but much harder for everyone else, with you walking around looking like this all day. My poor hands are scarred for life!”
He slid all the way into the booth to make room for roommate #1 and #2 sat next to Tina.
Tina did not let go of his hands for the rest of the night except to caress his perfect face.
Six months later we find ourselves at Tina’s parents’ house in Connecticut.
Brunch is being served.
It will be the second time he meets them.
It is Saturday morning.
Timmy drops his fork and kneels down to pick it up.
Timmy says: “Oops, dropped my fork” so Tina would know he was bending down to retrieve it.
Instead of a fork, he suddenly has a ring box in his hand.
Everyone else is surprised and elated. They all love Timmy too.
He takes Tina’s hand and places it inside, unopened, and closes her hand around it.
After giving her a moment to silently guess what it is, he opens her hand and opens the box and removes the ring. He puts the ring only in her hand and closes it.
No words have yet been spoken.
Tina starts to cry. She never imagined someone would be kneeling in front of her having just placed an engagement ring in her hand. Before the night of The Happy Hour Pub Crawl she was sure she would grow old, buy a dog, and die alone.
Timmy: “Tina Jenkins, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”
Tina, through tears streaming under her glasses, down her face and over her lips, says:
“You had me at ‘I’m so glad you’re blind'.”
She sniffles, “You had me at ‘I’m so glad you’re blind.’”
He puts the ring on her finger.
She reaches up and finds his face with her hands and caresses it as she had grown to love to do since they met.
Tina: “Plastic surgeons did all they could! Right!”
She pulls him close and kisses him with all the love, hope and gratitude a newly engaged woman can feel.
"Yes, of course, yes!"
They were never parted.
