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Definitions:
baby mama - a woman who has a child out of wedlock, aka a bastard child. A mother who had a baby while married, is NOT a baby mama.
unmarriageable - a state where a woman has no men courting her for marriage.
The baby mama of the bride and the baby mama of the groom sat proudly in the front of the church. The ceremony would be starting in just a few minutes.
The groom and his groomsmen stood on the altar just a few feet away. Every few minutes he would catch the eye of his mother and he could see immense pride beaming from her face. For the past twenty five years she had let everyone know and especially her son, how strong and brave she had been to raise this boy by herself and how his father had abandoned both of them.
"I don't need a man and my son doesn’t need a father" was her constant mantra.
The baby mama of the bride had portrayed herself the same way to the world since her bastard daughter had been born twenty three years ago.
There both baby mama’s sat, in a position of honor in the church, the front row, awaiting the wedding of their bastard children.
Only 60 years earlier, this scene would never have taken place, as the shame associated with having a bastard child would force baby mama’s into hiding or to give their children up for adoption.
The baby mama’s had gotten to know each other very well during the courtship and had been heavily involved in planning the wedding.
They were both giddy, their heads swimming, as if they were young virgins about to be married.
Guests were filing into the church.
Both baby mamas turned around at the same time to watch as the church filled up.
They were giving smiles and slight hand waves to everyone. In a way this was their wedding day as well. They never had one themselves, but they were both getting married vicariously through their children.
Suddenly, they both saw The Man At The Back Of The Church. Their faces grew ashen and tight. Without realizing it, they walked in unison towards him.
Everyone watched as the baby mama of the bride and the baby mama of the groom walked down the aisle together.
The baby mama’s got to The Man At The Back Of The Church at exactly the same time and both said the same thing in perfect unison.
“What are you doing here?”
The baby mama’s glanced at each other in a slight state of shock.
The Man At The Back Of The Church said.
“You both kept me away from my children for over twenty years, do you think I would miss their wedding?”
The baby mamas could see the bride standing outside on the church steps. They looked up to the altar and saw the groom.
The baby mamas looked at each other again. Their fake life stories, which had taken decades to erect, crumbled, and they both began to cry and shriek at the realization of what they had done to their children.
You see, like so many modern women, they had found themselves in their early thirties with no prospects of marriage. Since childhood, they had been taught marriage and motherhood were enslavement and were instead taught the steps to never become a wife and mother. In other words, they were taught the steps to become unmarriageable.
These three steps are: 1) wasting their fertile years enriching corporations with their cheap labor and 2) being very promiscuous starting in high school and 3) taking out enormous student loans they will never be able to repay.
These women are known as spinsters or leftover women and their numbers continue to grow exponentially.
Desperate, unmarriageable women wanting children have a few “Single Mother On Purpose” options. They chose one of the cheapest, the Alpha Male option.
What is that? Netflix and Chill was the perfect vehicle. They found an attractive, viral alpha male who would have unprotected sex with them with no questions asked. They slept with him until they got pregnant and then cut him off completely without advising him of the fact he would soon be a father.
How had he found out they were carrying his child? They would never know.
Unfortunately, many unmarriageable women choose this option and this means that a few alpha males are the biological fathers of many children in certain communities for generations now.
As many baby mamas do, they lied to the world and used the age-old false victim narrative of how they became pregnant accidentally and their baby’s father abandoned them or suddenly turned violent.
They could never tell the truth of how they strategically planned their single motherhood and chose to raise a child without a father on purpose and without advising the father he had a child.
Unfortunately, the baby mama of the bride and baby mama of the groom had chosen the same man to impregnate them.
The baby mamas realized the bride and groom were half brother and sister and could not be allowed to marry as the children from such a union would suffer terrible genetic abnormalities.
The baby mama of the groom ran to the altar and the baby mama of the bride ran outside. They took their bastard children to a private spot and had a brief conversation with them.
The bastard child bride ran down the street and out of view, crying and screaming, all the while still holding her bouquet in her left hand and wedding dress train in her right, to avoid tripping.
The bastard child groom collapsed where he stood, shaking and crying and wetting himself.
Both of their lives were ruined. One of them would take their life in the months following, unable to live with the fact that they had been physically intimate with their half sibling.
The guests, long since quiet and watching the mayhem, looked on with mouths agape and cell phones recording video. These would be great posts on social media sure to get tens of thousands of views by the end of the day.
Must keep our priorities straight, even during human crises. The common courtesy of respecting people's privacy was also lost 60 years ago.
The Man At The Back Of The Church walked to the altar and asked for everyone’s attention.
He spoke:
“The bride and groom you all came to watch marry today are both my biological children and cannot be allowed to marry.
I fathered hundreds of children that I know of in our city and surrounding areas. That number is probably in the thousands if I consider the county and the entire state and my sperm donations.
I see at least ten of you, sitting in the pews right in front of me now, that are my children, but you have no idea I am your father. I try to stop these weddings, between half brothers and sisters, as we know any children the couple bear are at a severe risk of genetic problems.
Please, if you were born of a baby mama, or are not 100% sure who your biological father is, compare DNA tests with any prospective intimate partner before sleeping with them. That person might just be your half-brother or sister. You want to avoid pregnancy for reasons I just explained.
Even if your parents were married when you were born, or your mother introduced you to a man she said was your father, I strongly suggest getting a DNA test for you and any potential intimate partner, as the majority of women I impregnated were married or in a committed relationships and lied to their partners and children about who their father was.
To all the men sitting here who believe your children are biologically yours, I would get them DNA tested as soon as possible as I am sure you want to know if you are raising, or have raised, another man’s biological child.
I see four men right in front of me here, who have been raising my biological children for decades.”
With that The Man At The Back Of The Church quickly walked down the aisle and out of the church’s front doors.
You see, he had two more weddings to attend that day and couldn't afford to linger.
